Banana Cream Pie

I love pie.

Our family trips to Arizona at Christmas always meant one thing: pie.  My grandma, Margaret, was a fantastic pie baker.  She would always have a multitude of pies to choose from.  My mom's favorite was always Apple Cheese pie, but my dad and I were never picky. 

I have been trying to live up to my grandma's reputation as Pie Queen for the last several months.  Every pie lover knows that the proof of a good pie is in the crust.  So, I had to perfect a decent crust recipe.  Then, I started to experiment with the flavors a bit, and this meant combining multiple recipes to create a delicious Franken-pie.  What's wrong?   Not the best name for a pie?  I get you.  How does "Caramel Apple Crumb Pie with a Cinnamon Roll Crust" sound?  I still prefer Franken-pie, but I kinda like zombies.  Pie and zombies.  Yes, I do have magnetic zombie poetry on my fridge.  

Do you know what else I like?  Chairs.  Brad has voiced his concern about the amount of chairs we currently own.  It all started with a purchase from Craigslist, and was shortly followed by an antique store purchase in Indiana.  I should also mention that we live in an apartment with only about 1,100 square feet to play with and absolutely NO storage.  However, we do have some lovely high ceilings.  I suppose if it really started to get bad, I could always create a modern art mobile of chairs hanging from the ceiling.  Hmmmm. 

Okay, back to the real world.  My latest acquisitions come from the garage of my uncle's cabin.  For more than 18 years these Mid Century beauties have been hanging in the garage.  Don't they deserve a loving home?  I shall adopt them, and call them Abbott and Costello.  My uncle was so kind to deliver them right to my door, so I made him a Lemon Meringue pie to say "thank you."  Within a week, he requested a Banana Cream pie encore.  That leads us, finally, to this post.

Disclaimer: This recipe requires a lot more effort than the Chocolate Chip Cookies.  You may have to set aside a few hours in order to: 1) read my post and 2) make the pie.  

One small confession: this recipe is not one of Estella's.  Although there are pie and crust recipes in her cookbook, I wanted this pie to be a bit more grand.  Plus, this was an excellent opportunity for me to use another fantastic cookbook, "Baking: From my Home to Yours," by Dorie Greenspan.  This is a beautiful cookbook.  If you don't own it already, you should.  But I digress... 

First things first, we need to make a pie crust.  Try not to hyperventilate, but we're going to use a metric ton of butter.  It's what makes the crust so freakin' good, so don't roll your eyes at me.  I used the double crust recipe because I've been on a pie kick lately.  However, the cookbook also takes you through the process of making a single crust: genius.  Ms. Greenspan instructs you to use a large capacity food processor in the making of this dough.

As always, be very careful not to over-process/mix the dough.  Pie crust is a fairly difficult thing to perfect, so don't be frustrated if your first attempt is a total flop.  Get back on that horse!  Think of all the deliciousness you'll be missing out on if you give up on your first try.  One of my favorite parts is coming up now.  The part where I get to touch it.  Can I touch it?  Wow!

Once your dough is complete, you're going to form it into a ball.  If you made the single batch you will have one ball; if you made the double batch you will have two balls.  Yes, I know what that sounds like.  This is where the class of teenagers would start snickering.  Here's another "fun fact" for my "mature" readers: a Dairy Queen sundae is comprised of a base, two balls, and a curl.  As a manager, I have the distinct pleasure of saying that over and over again while training.  Nerves of steel are required.

Ta da!  Crust complete.  Just flatten that sucker out into a small disc and wrap it in some plastic wrap.  Now it just needs to be refrigerated for at least an hour and a half.  The dough should keep for about 5 days in the refrigerator if you wrapped it well enough, but you can also freeze it for up to 2 months.  You'll want to make sure it's packed airtight to avoid it getting frostbitten.  Ms. Greenspan liked to mold the dough into a pie pan, pack that airtight, and freeze the whole shebang.  She says this gives the dough a fresher flavor when baked.  When you're ready to bake it just add 5 more minutes to your baking time and you won't even need to thaw it.  Cool beans!

For this recipe, I prepared the crust and the custard the night before.  The pie is best when eaten the same day it is assembled, so I didn't want to keep the whole thing in the fridge overnight.  Stupid bananas.  Why you gotta be so perishable?  Don't even get me started, avocados!

Since Banana Cream pie doesn't require any baking after it's assembled, the crust needed to be prepared and baked on its own.  After the dough has been refrigerated for at least an hour and a half, take it out and let it soften up a bit before you start to roll it out.  You want to have a 9 inch pie plate ready and buttered.  Now roll!  Make sure you have flour on your rolling surface through the entire process.  Roll for a while, flip, roll some more.  Once the dough is rolled, you can put it directly into the pie plate or back into the fridge to firm up.  I'm impatient, so it went straight into the plate.

  

You'll want to cut off the dough overhang to about 1/4 inch.  Then you just fold the dough under itself and try to make it look pretty.  The key word being "try."  If you totally eff it up, you can just smoosh the crust down with the tines of a fork.  There, all better.  Stick it back in the fridge for another 20 minutes to let it firm up again.  Now, butter the shiny side of some aluminum foil, and cover the entire crust tightly.  Next step: put something in the bottom of the plate so the crust doesn't balloon up and take flight.  I chose rice because I didn't have pie weights or beans.

Bake the crust, remove the foil and rice, bake some more.  Abracadabra, baked pie crust!

Let's move on to custard, shall we?  This custard was a bitch to make, but TOTALLY worth it.  Have you even made a pastry cream before?  Yes?  Then you know this isn't going to be pretty.  No?  This isn't going to be pretty.  You might even hate me a little at the end of this all.  But, if you stick with me, you will have a delicious custard for your Banana Cream pie.  The most important part is going to be the stirring.  You can't slack off with the stirring.  Glad we had this talk, now get your ingredients together. 

The recipe calls for freshly ground nutmeg.  I really wanted to stay true to the recipe for this pie, so I actually bought some nutmeg.  Yes, it's expensive, but how often do you use nutmeg?  You get a whole mess of it in a jar, and you're golden for at least ten years (slight exaggeration).  Plus, the spices in this custard are what makes it so good, so don't settle for less if you can help it.

You'll need two decent pans for this next part.  One is going to bring your whole milk up to boiling.  I did say whole milk.  It's going to be one of those recipes.  The other pan is where you're going to mix together the ingredients that are the foundation of your custard.  Resist the urge to eat the delicious looking thing that is forming in the bottom of the pan.

These next steps are the most crucial.  You want to add only about 1/4 cup of boiling milk to the custard mixture at first.  This is to temper the eggs.  You don't want pieces of cooked egg in your custard.  Ew. 

Once you've mixed the first bit of milk in, you're going to add the rest of the boiling milk in a steady stream, and stir the entire time.

WARNING: In order to get a good, steady stream and not make a complete mess of your stove, you may want to transfer the boiling milk from the pan into a glass measuring cup.  Either way, be careful.  We wouldn't want any trips to the ER.

Now you stir.  I said STIR!  This is a good job for the manpanion.  Look at him stir that custard.  Such an expert!  Make sure to compliment the person stirring.  Convince them that they're better at this than you are.   Once you've convinced them of this, you have a default stirrer for every custard recipe in your repertoire.  Unless of course your helper happens to read this blog, too.  Guess I'm going to be doing my stirring solo.  

The custard can be stored in a tightly covered container in the fridge for up to 3 days or you can start assembling your pie right away.  Remember though, this pie is best when eaten right away so don't make it too far in advance.  Plus, the thing is a cinch to assemble.  The worst has passed my friends.

I left the custard in the fridge overnight, so I needed to whisk it in the morning to loosen it up.  This is a bit of a sticky process, so feel free to lick off the whisk when you're done.  You deserve it.  Next up, slice your bananas to about 1/4" on a bit of a diagonal.  If it's not perfect, don't worry!  No one will care what the bananas look like while they're stuffing their face with delicious pie. 

Who knew that making Banana Cream pie would only require 3 bananas?  Not me!  I used more bananas in the banana bread I made a few weeks ago.

BANANA CREAM PIE ASSEMBLE!  Wouldn't it be great if you could just shout that and it would assemble itself on its own?  I tried.  It doesn't work.  It is an excellent way to meet your neighbors, though.  You'll want to layer the bananas and custard in the pie shell.  The pattern is as follows: thin layer of custard (about 1/4 of the mixture), half of the bananas, thin layer of custard (another 1/4), remainder of bananas, remainder of custard.

One more part!  All we have to do now is make the cream.  It's very similar to making whipped cream, but calls for a few extra ingredients including one that may make you cringe a little.  I promise, the sour cream is a must.  It gives the cream a nice tang.  You'll want to do the majority of this mixing in a stand mixer or with a hand mixer.  The sour cream is the last thing to be added and it needs to be folded into the whipped cream.

Dollop the whipped cream onto the top of the pie and spread it out evenly to cover all of the custard.  I used the back of a wooden spoon to make some decorative hills in the cream.  It just looks prettier that way.  Trust me, this could look like you threw it together in 5 minutes and it would still taste delicious.  But, since we spent all that time making it, why not make it look nice?  I think it took me a grand total of a minute to add my little decorative touch.

Now eat the crap out of some pie!  This needs to be eaten within the day, so call all your friends or take it to work.  Try to persuade your crazy friends who don't like bananas to try a bit of it.  Heck, my mom thought it was delicious and she doesn't even like bananas!  Before my aunt and uncle left with this pie, I made sure to tell them that they needed to try to eat it within the day.  There were 5 pieces remaining and since it's just the two of them I was a little nervous there might be leftovers the next day.  My pie loving family did not disappoint.  My uncle returned the plate empty the next day.

The one bite I tasted of this pie was AMAZING.  I would definitely make it again.  If you're looking for a delicious Banana Cream pie to add to your standby dessert recipes, this should be the one.  Once again, a shout out goes to Ms. Dorie Greenspan and her fantastic cookbook, "Baking: From my Home to Yours."

Don't like fruity things?  Prefer chocolate?  My next recipe will be Chocolate Mint bars, so stay tuned...

Good for Almost Everything Pie Dough

For a 9-Inch Double Crust

3 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 1/2 sticks very cold (frozen is fine) unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon-size pieces

1/3 cup very cold (frozen is even better) vegetable shortening, cut into 4 pieces

About 1/2 cup ice water

Put the flour, sugar and salt in a food processor fitted with a metal blade; pulse just to combine the ingredients.  Drop the butter and shortening and pulse only until the butter and shortening are cut into the flour.  Don't overdo the mixing - what you're aiming for is to have some pieces the size of fat green peas and others the size of barley.  Pulsing the machine on and off, gradually add about 6 tablespoons of the water if making a double crust.  Add a little water and pulse once, add some more water, pulse again and keep going that way.  Then use a few long pulses to get the water into the flour.  If, after a dozen or so pulses, the dough doesn't look evenly moistened or form soft curds, pulse in as much of the remaining water as necessary, or even a few drops more, to get a dough that will stick together when pinched.  Big pieces of butter are fine.  Scrape the dough out of the work bowl and onto a work surface.

When making a double crust, divide the dough in half.  Gather each half into a ball, flatten each ball into a disk and wrap each half in plastic.  Refrigerate the dough for at least one hour before rolling. 

Note:  From here on out I'll be paraphrasing, so let me know if you have any questions.

Roll out the dough so that it is slightly larger than the pie plate.  You'll want to trim the excess crust with a pair of scissors so that you have about a 1/8" - 1/4" overhang.  Fold the dough under itself and add any decorative touches that you'd like. 

At this point, you will bake the crust or add the filling.  If baking the crust, stick it back in the fridge while your oven preheats (about 20 minutes).

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Butter the shiny side of some foil, and fit it tightly over your pie crust.  Cover the entire crust.  Fill the bottom of the pie crust with rice, beans, or pie weights.  Bake the pie crust on a baking sheet for 25 minutes.  After 25 minutes, remove the foil and weights.  If the bottom of the crust has puffed up at all, you can press it down with the back of a spoon.  For a partially baked crust, return the pie plate to the oven for another 8 minutes, or until very lightly colored.  For a fully baked crust, return the plate to the oven for another 10 minutes, or until golden brown.  Let the crust cool completely on a cooling rack before filling. 

Banana Cream Pie

For the custard

2 cups whole milk

6 large egg yolks

1/2 cup (packed) light brown sugar, pressed through a sieve

1/3 cup cornstarch, sifted

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

Pinch of salt

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into bits

3 ripe but firm bananas

1 9-inch single crust made with Good for Almost Everything Pie Dough, fully baked and cooled

For the topping

1 cup cold heavy cream

2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar, sifted

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 tablespoons sour cream

To make the custard: Bring the milk to a boil.

Meanwhile, in a large heavy bottomed saucepan, whisk the yolks together with the brown sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt until well blended and thick.  Whisking without stopping, drizzle in about 1/4 cup of the boiling milk.  Then, still whisking, add the remainder of the milk in a steady stream.  Put the pan over medium heat and, whisking constantly (get into the edges as well), bring the mixture to a boil.  Boil, continuing to whisk, for 1 to 2 minutes before removing from the heat. 

Whisk in the vanilla and let stand for 5 minutes.  Next, whisk in the butter stirring, until it is completely incorporated and the custard is smooth ans silky.  Transfer to an airtight container and store in the refrigerator until cold.  You can store the custard in the fridge for up to 3 days.

When you are ready to assemble the pie, peel and cut the bananas on a shallow diagonal into 1/4 inch thick slices. 

Whisk the custard vigorously to loosen it, and spread 1/4 of it over the bottom of the piecrust.  Top with half the banana slices.  Repeat, adding a thin layer of pastry cream, the remaining bananas, then smooth the rest of the custard over the bananas. 

To make the topping: Working with a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment or a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the cream until it just starts to thicken.  Beat in the confectioners' sugar and vanilla and continue to beat until the cream holds firm peaks.  Switch to a rubber spatula and gently fold in the sour cream. 

To finish: Spoon the whipped cream over the filling and spread it evenly to the edges of the custard.  Serve, or refrigerate until needed.